MILF: Pretty Little Liars Actress Tammin Sursok talks miscarriage + those damn Insta-mom shamers!

Actress. Director. Designer. Entrepreneur. Writer. Singer. Producer. AND mom of two. Talk about wearing a ton of hats! This week’s MILF, Pretty Little Liars star and Stella.Phoenix founder Tammin Sursok, is major #momgoals, boasting a professional resume nearly as long as her to-do list at home (newborn life, ya heard!). Tammin gets real with us on what it’s like going from one to two, why she’s so obsessed with the SNOO and what NOT to say to a mom who has miscarried. Plus, how she manages to handle Insta’s mean mom brigade with such grace. Oh, and that one time she almost bit her first born’s finger off…oops!

Q: You just had a baby, congratulations! What’s it like being a mom of two now?

A: It’s funny because everyone warned me that two was a huge life shift, but I didn’t spend much time thinking about it. And then the train came through our lives! In all seriousness though we have been so blessed with an easy, happy baby. Our first was extremely challenging. She’s my idol,  but man, she tested my patience. She’s now a well adjusted, beautiful kid but those early days were trying.

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Q: Any postpartum must-haves (for yourself or Lennon!)?

A: Oh my, the Snoo has changed our whole postpartum period. It’s a bassinet that rocks with the baby’s movements, so when they cry it speeds up and then a heartbeat comes on when they are very upset. It mimics our womb and the infant feels very safe and secure in it. It also has a swaddle which is built in. Where was this when I had my first!? Also our Doona car seat that turns into a stroller is a lifesaver. The wheels never come off, they just fold under. Best invention!

Q: You’ve been very open about pregnancy loss in the past. How has your experience with miscarriage shaped who you are as a mother and a woman?

A: I think I’m more grateful of what I do have. Crisis and tragedy happens out of nowhere and we never think it will happen to us. Also losing control. I’m such a control freak and you realize that motherhood and pregnancy really is in someone else’s hands. You have to, as difficult as it is, let go. That’s all we can do.

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Q: Any tips on what NOT to say to a woman who has miscarried?

A: Oh, the worst is “ at least you have one.”  That doesn’t make the pain easier. It’s like saying don’t be upset you lost one leg because someone lost two. Losing what you thought was going to be your child isn’t less painful because you have one. Everything is relative.

Q: Let’s talk about your kid’s clothing label, Stella.Phoenix…it’s to die for! What inspired you to get into children’s wear and why start your own brand?

A: I found myself going overboard with Phoenix’s clothes and spent a fortune. I tried to reel in the spending, everything cheap fell apart. I wanted something that was beautiful, not overpriced, and lasted. That was the genesis of Stella.Phoenix.

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Q: Proudest Stella.Phoenix moment? Biggest Stella.Phoenix struggle so far?

A: When celebrities wear our pieces that is definitely a pinch me moment. Hardest thing is keeping the cost down while retaining the quality.

Q: If someone only knew you from social media, how would they describe your life/experience as an entrepreneur? If they could see the reality behind the scenes, what would they see instead?

A: I show everything, warts and all! I think social media is incredible as we can instantly connect with people and build a community, but I think it can be really detrimental to our mental health. Everyone shows their highlight reels. No one wants to show the struggle and tears and pain, which is universal. I try to give my audience our honest moments. If it makes one person feel less alone then it is worth it.

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Q: Any epic #momfail moments that stand out?

A: So many. I almost bit my first born’s finger off! She once fell behind the bed. I forgot her undies to school…I mean, how much time do you have?

Q: Ever been mom shamed?

A: Everyday. And what confuses me is why someone finds it necessary to hurt someone. That baffles me. The keyboard warriors with no profile picture. But I truly believe that the fastest pipeline to hate is unhappiness. It’s about them, not me.

Q: You’re in the entertainment business. What’s it like raising kids in “Hollywood”?

A: We don’t think about it. We try to instill good values and ethics and give them a hell of a lot of love. The other stuff is just meaningless.

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Q: What makes you feel sexy?

A: My husband telling me that he finds me sexy 😉

Q: Favorite date night spot?

A: Craig’s, Crossroads Kitchen, Arclight, & Musso and Frank.

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Q: Favorite local kid’s activity?

A: Just a simple park. It’s so important to let little ones play without limits and let them explore.

Q: Fave kid’s brands other than your own?

A: Stella McCartney Kids, Kickee Pants, Tuchinda, & Wolf & Rita.

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Q: Fave womenswear brands?

A: Maje, Helmut Lang, Self-Portrait, Isabel Marant, & COS.

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SHOP TAMMIN’S DOPPLE PICKS!
Snag the Dopple swag Tammin’s kids are currently living in (plus some Stella.Phoenix faves mixed in)!

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